A Goodbye to Destiny 2
I was a different person in 2017.
To put it frankly, I wasn’t transfeminine then. At least not in an appreciable way. I didn’t use the name ‘Gabby’ and if memory serves, I had only recently adopted the online pseudonym of ‘contrastellar’. I didn’t know what turning seventeen was going to be like for me – I didn’t know what university I wanted to go to and I certainly didn’t know that I wouldn’t finish that inevitable four-year degree in the ‘traditional’ four years.
I was a starry-eyed Guardian, then; hearing the news of Destiny as a franchise coming to PC, and knowing that I would join the ranks of Guardians who had come before. I didn’t know, then, what to expect from Destiny – in a lot of ways, I still don’t know now.
I want to write this as a goodbye to Destiny 2, as a player, as a Hunter, as a Guardian.
My story for Destiny, really, truly, begins in 2019.
I am a freshman at Michigan Technological University, recently out as transgender, and trying my best to keep my head above water as midterms approach and fly past. I’ve only made it back to my dorm (which I shared with two cisgender guys), and find myself falling back into Destiny 2 with the release of Shadowkeep on October 1, 2019.
My first memory of Shadowkeep, is rounding the corner in the subterrane of the Moon, and finding a Pyramid ship where there shouldn’t be one. Dread, horror, and a sense of displacement accompanied, and I have yet to have a moment in a video game that has replicated that feeling. Few have come close, but none have exceeded it.
I fell in with a group of Destiny raiders when Garden of Salvation released. I got a week one clear. I still own the jacket that bears a name I’m still unsure if I’m embarrassed of;
“One-Eyed Queen”.
Coronavirus changes the course of my university experience, and I’m sent home in March 2020. I slack off for the rest of my classes that semester, and pass if only barely. In no small part because I spent a lot of time playing Destiny 2. I meet some friends I am still proud to know today.
Tyler. Mark. Vanessa. Ana. Mona. Catherine. Veronica. Jess. Ara. Vorpal. Voodu. Meep. Plep. Spook.
Plenty other names have slipped through the cracks in the years since that time. If you somehow stumble upon this, and you wonder if you’re one of them? You might be.
I fell in love with what I called, and still do; “the dance of raiding”. The flow of a raid encounter; the decisions and micro-decisions you make as you fight yourself and your communication skills to work with five others to clear an encounter. It can suck. You can have the best gunplay-skills in the world, but if you don’t know the mechanics? You won’t make it far. It’s a dance between your gunplay, your footwork, your coordination and your ability to teach someone else that will bring you to success. That was made me fall in love with Destiny 2, but my friends kept me there longer.
Covid was an awful time. I spent a lot of second and third shifts at a gas station in the rural Midwest, and the downtime between those shifts was more-often-than-not, punctuated with Destiny 2. Raids. Dungeons. Seasonal Activities. Challenges, Triumphs, Titles. Iron Banner, Gambit, Nightfall, Trials. We did it all. We didn’t always succeed, but we did our best, and tried to find the laughs where we could.
I was growing into my new skin, then too.
Some of my closest friends are a result of Destiny 2.
I met most of them as a byproduct, more than a direct result, but the idea is still true enough. I wouldn’t have become closer friends with Liz had it not be for Destiny 2. I wouldn’t have met Kara, Saorise or Betsy if I didn’t become close with Liz. I wouldn’t have met Josh if it weren’t for Kara and Liz. I wouldn’t know Queenie, Oswyn, Talon, Tony, Lily and Seren if it weren’t for Josh. I wouldn’t have fallen deeper into Final Fantasy XIV had it not been for these (and I mean this with all the affection in the world) fools. I wouldn’t be more confident in who I am as a person without them.
I met people like Yasu, Gema, Goat, Arjay, Kerl, Amia, Ciq, Frost, and Sollessa through those connections that Destiny fostered and gave a ‘crucible’ for (no pun intended).
I was invited to Tyler’s wedding. I still think about visiting Mark the next time I’m in his city. Mona is on my list of people to visit should I end up in her neck of the woods, which happens to be the same neck as Josh. My first DND one-shot was with Vorpal and Spook. Vanessa is still someone I can message at any time of day, and I still wish I could’ve met her at Tyler’s wedding. If I end up in a pub near Ana by some twist of fate; it’s my hope, I can play a game of Dandan with her. I’m pretty sure I owe Catherine an amount of money I’d only be able to re-pay in person.
It’s Oswyn’s fault I’m playing Final Fantasy IX. Talon gets me to think about art in a way I don’t usually do. Queenie is always so lively and brightens up any chat I’m in with her, and I wanna give her a hug about it one day. I think at this point I’m obliged to visit Gema.I’m not super close with Tony, but I owe him a drink some day. And I eventually want to see the kind of home that Lily and Seren build together (and then watch Zipper and Fievel cause chaos in the middle of it). I would love to have some of Ara’s baking and maybe find out why baseball’s cool from Veronica. I owe Jess a big hug too.
There’s lots of other people who belong on this list. I’m sorry I can’t list them all, or if I’ve omitted one or more.
Convenient how many of these people live nearby one another.
Some of my first ideas of what I wanted to do with my life came from Destiny. Obviously being a Guardian isn’t a real job, but creating stories and fostering communities can be. I didn’t realize until 2023 how much I want to be a writer. But it was stories like Destiny 2’s, that made me realize that.
Of course being a career game developer is an ill-advised decision in 2026; but this game still taught me that a job is more than just the work you do. It’s the passion you instill that work with. I don’t want a job that I can’t be passionate about.
Maybe I won’t write a story as fascinating some of Destiny’s lore books or compose a song as beautiful as Deep Stone Lullaby, but those inspirations drive me forwards to this day. Years and years later.
But I won’t know if I can do those things, if I don’t try – will I?
I was a proud Hunter, and I am still an even prouder Guardian.
I helped where I could, to raise money for people I’d never meet and charities that I’d only heard of.
I helped make a community of people where saying that Black Lives Matter, or that Trans Rights are Human Rights was a norm.
Where standing up for what is right, what you believe in, and giving help for those who need the help that you can give, was the expectation. Sometimes we were wrong. Sometimes I was wrong. I made mistakes, as we all do as humans. But learning from them is what makes us more than the sum of our mistakes.
I’ve made friends, and lost them too. There are people I don’t dare name, and people who I can only think fondly about what times we shared. I miss those people, even if I wouldn’t want them back now.
This game has annoyed me.
Bungie’s made dumb decisions, but also some really smart ones.
This game is a part of me, even if I am no longer a part of it.
I stand among ranks of Guardians: Those who are still here. Those who have moved onto different worlds and stories. Those who are no longer with us. I think about how, when we band together, we can move mountains. And suddenly the world feels less scary.
I still say to myself, “Eyes up, Guardian”, when I do something outside my comfort zone. I quote Cayde-6 when I need to add levity to a situation. I think about what Zavala would say, when I need to inspire confidence. And I will forever emulate Ikora when I feel the odds stacked against me.
In my initial thoughts, after hearing the news, I realized that this is just another chapter of my life, coming to a close. I am not the same person I was when I set foot in the Tower the first time. But that is the nature of being human.
Despite the way the game’s gone, and how I’ve felt Bungie slip away from the roots that made me want to play Destiny to begin with, I still hold Destiny in my heart. I would not be who I am today without this game.
I have missed Destiny 2, I miss Destiny 2, I will miss Destiny 2. I will not shed tears as I move confidently towards the next part of my life, but I will hold close to my chest these passions, feelings and memories that I made with this game, and those I’ve met because of and through it.
On June 9, 2026 – I will remember the 3198 days of Destiny 2. I will wish the crew at Bungie well. And we will all set forth into whatever comes next.
Until then, I leave you with one last request;
Remember those who are no longer with us, message that friend you’ve not heard from in a while. Look forward to the new people and places you’ve yet to see.
Guardians make our own fate; and I hope that we all continue to do our best – for one another, ourselves, and the world we leave behind.
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Gabriella ‘contrastellar’ Agathon
Hunter, Reckoner, Guardian
See you in the starlight